1999 Brier
SLAM! Sports
SLAM! Curling
1999 BRIER
ON THE ROCKS
INTERACTIVE
ALSO ON SLAM!
Sweeping generalizations
Curlers aren't all beer-swilling, cigarette-smoking couch potatoes
Medical staff will test each rink to see if the curlers have excessive amounts of alcohol in their system. Anybody who doesn't faces a two-year suspension.
There is an appeal process involving a stopwatch and a six-pack. And those unfortunate souls with a legitimate medical excuse for not drinking can apply for a special "nicotine exemption.''
OK, so the best curlers in Canada - which makes them the best curlers in the world - aren't exactly poster boys for Health and Fitness magazine.
Is that necessarily a bad thing?
"I go back to work on Monday at the plant and I'm Joe Schmuck,'' says Mark Whittle, who throws second stones for B.C.'s entry at the Labatt Brier. "But for one week of your life you're out here signing autographs. You have to love that.''
That's the fine line players and organizers are walking here. They want to cultivate their Guy Next Door image - knowing full well that everyday people like Guy Hemmings and Ken Hunka are always fan favourites - but at the same time they don't want to give the impression that any ham-and-egger can set down his beer and ripple chips and make it to the Brier overnight.
"The guy-next-door image appeals to the spectators. They like the fact that it could be someone they know who's playing here,'' says Ontario lead Paul Madden. "But we still like to think we're athletes. I've heard some people say it's an old person's sport. I find it funny that the people who say that, once they try it, discover it's not as easy as it looks.
"Obviously it's not as athletic as a lot of other sports, but you have to have a little bit of stamina to sweep 10 or 11 games in a week.''
Still, the image of the beer-drinking, chain-smoking, pot-bellied curler has been around the game longer than Wes Montgomery has. And it doesn't help matters that a few of the skips - and skips get most of the TV time - could pass as Homer Simpson body doubles.
So is this really a sport, with honest to goodness athletes, or merely a quaint little pastime - just a rung or two above darts and bowling on the junk food chain.
"If you're not in good shape you're not going to be able to compete at this level,'' says Manitoba lead Doug Armstrong. "I'll probably lose eight to 10 pounds this week from all the sweeping.''
Leads are the guys who throw relatively meaningless rocks during the commercial break and spend the rest of their time sweeping like Wilma Flintstone on acid.
Six rocks per end, 10 ends per game, two games per day ... That's 120 stones a day for six days, not counting playoffs.
They don't necessarily bust their hump on every rock, but when they are called on to drag an underthrown stone to the button it's back-breaking work.
"Absolutely,'' says Whittle. "Want to see the sweat under my arms?''
Uh, no.
"People ask me all the time, is curling a sport,'' he continues. "Are we athletes? You don't do what my partner Dave (Mellof) and I did out there today without being in shape. Curling is a beautiful blend between athletics and gamesmanship. I have a complete workout schedule to stay in shape for this thing.''
The trend today is younger, stronger front ends. Bulls on the brooms. Hulking power forwards who can sweep to the concrete if a skip says so.
"There are guys out there now who can really pound the brush,'' says Whittle, adding the game is evolving, for the better, at a tremendous pace.
"The Ed Werenichs aren't making it any more. The players are better, the equipment is better.''
So do they resent the stereotype? After all, Craig Stadler, John Daly and Duffy Waldorf will never be mistaken for Baywatch lifeguards and nobody ever turns their nose up at golfers.
"I think the attitude about curling is changing,'' says Quebec third Pierre Charette. "After the Olympics and stuff people started recognizing curling (as a sport). But at the same time, people in this sport are still very accessible, and that's what everybody likes. Where else do you see in the middle of a game people signing autographs like we were doing during the fifth-end break?''
And that's the attraction. Charette's Quebec rink had just been upset by lowly Newfoundland in a frustrating loss. Yet just seconds after the defeat, he stopped for this interview. Try finding Eric Lindros or the Colorado Avalanche when things go sour. You'd need a map and guide.
PART JOCK, PART DRINKING BUDDY
"There's no prima donnas in this sport,'' says Whittle. "The top guys, Guy Hemmings and Russ Howard, are out there walking through the crowd like normal people. I think that's part of the beauty of curling. It's like hockey was in the '50s. Hopefully it'll stay that way.''
Hard to argue with that. The jocks of the rocks seem to have discovered the perfect mix. Part athlete. Part drinking buddy.
"People like it,'' says Charette. "Everywhere we go around here people want an autograph or a picture.''
They must be doing something right.
"We're really happy the way things are,'' says Whittle. "You could see it out there today. You've got a bunch of young kids chanting 'curling rules,' you've got 10,000 people cheering and you've got a bunch of girls lifting their shirts up (to reveal halter tops and painted midriffs). When you get all that you know this sport is going in the right direction.''