March 23, 2000
Plan 9 From WCW
Almost speechless, in fact.
Yes - I have become a WCW watcher.
I haven't been this amazed by anything since the first time I saw Plan 9 From Outer Space. As the immortal director Ed Wood proved, bad beyond belief makes fascinating art.
WCW is art.
Like that Norman Rockwell Franklin Mint plate topped with fresh dog-doo on display at the local gallery, you can't help but look. And wonder.
Or that real death video.
Or the three car collision at that local dangerous intersection.
You just can't help but watch WCW.
Last year, WCW was merely a misguided missile. Unwatchable.
Now, as a near-death experience, it's rivetting.
You know what caught me... Hogan, Hennig, Flair and Luger.
All together in one ring. Simply amazing.
There were less wrinkles on an episode of Golden Girls.
And what better a poster boy for the organization than Ric Flair. Always the geek-meister, Flair has not only brought his saggy breasts to a whole new audience, he's unleashed his dribbling spawn on the world.
David Flair vs. Lash LaRue. David Flair vs. anybody. It's enough to make you miss Terry Funk's T-shirts.
Wow! Ted Turner has that much money!
Makes you wonder how Vince McMahon can get away with it. How could he have not tapped into the depths of Jeff Jarrett's talents.
Who needs Chris Jericho when you have Fit Finley? Who needs Chris Benoit when you have Norman Smiley?
Just wait until Gillberg is back.
Of course, all that talent isn't going to work without the proper presentation. It's an injustice equal to Showgirls and Striptease being shutout of the Academy Awards that there isn't a fan club totally dedicated to the announcing brilliance of Tony Jabroni. He's so good, you can't remember the name of the guy next to him. And that guy is no slouch himself. Arnold-the-Pear-in-a-tie is the Orson Welles of sports entertainment.
I can't wait until next week.
"Live from the Coleco Coliseum in Petticoat Junction, Arkansas, it's Monday Nitro ..."
Dave Cameron is from Edmonton and can be emailed at email@example.com. He's written for us before: