Monday, November 2, 1998
SLAM! Wrestling Guest Column
Improving hockey via wrestling
Top 10 ways to improve hockey by booking it like wrestling :
9) Put Wayne Gretzky, Mark Messier, Grant Fuhr, and Esa Tikkanen on the same team again. Have them flash 4 fingers while playing. After the game , have Wayne, surrounded by beautiful women , going "WOOOO" and dancin' a jig
8) Put Claude Lemieux in bad polyester pants trying to hit everyone with his tennis rack..er...hockey stick.
7) Have the Detroit Red Wings split in to 2 teams : Detroit Hollywood and Detroit Wolfpac led by Steve Yzerman and Sergei Fedorov
6) Have teams like Nashville and San Jose form an alliance called the "Job Squad"
5) Have Matthew Barnaby do post game interviews with his friend "Mr. Socko"
3) Hair vs Hair game between Washington and Pittsburgh : If Pittsburgh wins , Chris Simon in shaved bald at centre ice..If Washington wins , Jaromir Jagr gets shaved...
2) Have Don Koharski cheat to give Phoenix a win..After the game we see "exclusive footage" of coach Jim Schoenfeld giving Koharski a box of donuts..
1) Before every game Eric Lindros beats up Flyers G.M. Bobby Clarke. He then goes to the four corners of the rink and sticks his middle finger to all the fans, who are going crazy.
Glen Glynn is from Mississauga. He can be emailed at email@example.com