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 You could gamble or shop in Las Vegas, but with all the gorgeous scenery, spectacle and laughs to be had, how would you fit it in? (Clipart.com) |
A recent family trip kept us more than busy with swimming, rafting down the Colorado River, magic, comedy, history, science, the Red Rock Canyon and more.
My favourite activity was a rafting trip with Black Canyon River Adventures starting from just below the base of the mighty Hoover Dam in the Lake Mead Recreation Area.
As we floated between sheer cliffs 2,000 ft. high, our guide pointed to wildlife, including Big Horn Sheep leaping precariously from one outcropping to the next and birds flitting between secluded coves.
The large, comfortable rafts stopped along the bank to give us a chance to eat the provided box lunch or go for a swim in the cold, clear river.
Despite the 37C air temperature, the chance for a frigid dip was rejected by most, but I thought it was glorious.
Our guide happily answered questions and routinely showered us with river water to beat the heat, but also honoured the silence of the canyon, letting us bask in its serenity.
Pretty much as far from serene as you can get was my husband's favourite activity -- the Penn & Teller comedy/magic show live at the Rio.
All you really need to know about this pair is contained on the billboards. In it, Penn is casually holding an axe over the slogan: "Fewer audience injuries than last year!"
The performance by Penn Fraser Gillette -- the big guy who talks ... a lot -- and Raymond Joseph Teller -- the little guy who talks not at all -- express their loathing for airport security, political correctness in any form and an absolute moral contempt, bordering on hatred, for those who claim psychic powers.
Penn duplicates the kind of mind-reading that famous so-called psychics perform ... only he's honest enough to tell folks it's a trick.
But at the core of the show are jaw-dropping illusions that amaze your innocent inner child, while the politics help keep the rage stoked in your angry outer adult.
Their Vegas show is always changing, so, alas, the bunny in the woodchipper gag is gone, but it's been replaced with the saw-a-woman-in- half trick -- and when they're done, the stage looks like the Manson family paid a visit.
Well worth the money and the gut pains from laughing so hard.
My son Jake, 12, insists on picking two favourites from our trip: Blue Man Group at the Venetian and Cirque du Soleil's KA at MGM Grand.
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For Blue Man Group, most of us first set eyes on this cacophonous freak show in the ground-breaking Intel ads. Three guys. Painted blue. Expressionless. Making music by whacking on PVC pipes turned into musical instruments.
The thing is ... they're funny. They're visually arresting.
It's like a wave of delightful idiocy and art collide in kind of a weird post-modern take on life, technology, commercialism and what it means to be human.
Plus they spew edible Twinkie batter from valves in their chests. Don't ask. Just go see the show.
Speaking of spectacular shows ... every Canadian gets to feel a bit of patriotic pride when they go to Vegas, where you can't swing a cat without hitting the marquee for yet another Cirque du Soleil act.
Pretty good for an outfit founded by a couple of street performers from Quebec.
A Cirque du Soleil show is spectacle unburdened by narrative.
KA, at MGM Grand, is a beguiling combination of martial arts and acrobatics.
This is a story revealed without benefit of dialogue, but you may be too busy gasping to care.
As the stage is rotating, flipping end over end high into the air, the performers climb it by grasping arrows shot into it ... then lose their grip and take 60-ft. falls into the darkness below.
My husband and Jake's entertainment tastes tend to run to Ultimate Warrior on SpikeTV and any movie with robots, explosions and girls in bikinis.
And they were entranced.
Of course, it helps when the stage show includes a pair of acrobats on a giant, whirling device known as "The Wheel of Death."
After that scene was completed, my husband leaned across me to whisper to my son: "I'll bet people actually died or were maimed developing that trick."
My son couldn't tear his eyes from the stage, but he nodded. "Pretty damned cool," he said.
And that pretty much sums up KA. Pretty damned cool.
ON A BUDGET
If big-ticket shows aren't in the budget, you might want to check out some of lower-priced but very entertaining options.
One we enjoyed was the Nathan Burton Comedy Magic afternoon show at the Flamingo.
It's quick mix of engaging illusions and sassy but family-friendly humour.
My son liked the showgirls appearing and disappearing inside a variety of boxes and cages. I liked a very funny audience participation gag.
If you keep your eyes open, there are lots of other discounts to be had.
To avoid the cost of a taxi, we took the Las Vegas Monorail to the Flamingo.
It runs from one end of the Strip to the other in 15 minutes with access to many to the most popular casinos. You can buy single-ride tickets, or a three-day unlimited pass.