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Jittery JokesThe Internet is haunted with Halloween humour. To whet your ghoulish appetite, here are 50 of our favourite groaners.Q: What is a vampires favortie mode of transportation? A: A blood vessel. Q: What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog? A: I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines. Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best? A: A dead end. Q: What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit? A: A wash-and-werewolf. Q: What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost? A: Fasten your sheet belt. Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called? A: An itchy witchy. Q: Who does a ghoul fall in love with? A: His ghoul friend. Q: Who are some of the werewolves cousins? A: The whatwolves and the whenwolves. Q: What's a cold, evil candle called? A: The wicked wick of the north. Q: What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best? A: Hallowieners. Q: Why did the witch stand up in front of the audience? A: She had to give a screech. Q: What's a goblin's favorite flavor? A: Lemon n' Slime. Q: Why wasn't the vampire working? A: He was on his coffin break. Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane. Q: Why did the witch's mail rattle? A: It was a chain letter. Q: Why did the vampire's lunch give her heartburn? A: It was a stake sandwich. Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: "Make a fright turn at the corner." Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets. Q: What do goblins mail home while on vacation? A: Ghostcards. Q: What is a witch's favourite subject? A: Spelling. Q: What's black, white, orange, and waddles? A: A penguin with a jack-o-lantern. Q: What time would it be if five demons were chasing you? A: Five after one. Q: Why did the monster eat the caboose? A: The locomotive told him to "Choo, choo." Q: What happened to the monster that took the five o'clock train home? A: He had to give it back. Q: What kind of ghost haunts a hen house? A: A poultry-geist. Q: Why do ghosts go to baseball games? A: Because they like to boo the umpire. Q: What should you say when you meet a ghost? A: "How do you boo, sir. How do you boo." Q: What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost? A: Put your boos and shocks on. Q: What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet? A: A holy terror. Q: What tops off a ghost's sundae? A: Whipped Scream Q: Why did the baby ghost go to the doctor before halloween? A: To get a BOOster shot. Q: When do ghosts usually appear? A: Just before someone screams. Q: What do little ghosts drink? A: Evaporated milk. Q: How do you make a milkshake? A: You sneak up behind a glass of milk and yell "Boo!" Q: What goes "Oob, oob!" A: A ghost in reverse. Q: Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A: Because he's always a goblin. Q: How do mummies hide? A: They wear masking tape. Q: Why was the mummy so tense? A: He was all wound up. Q: When is it bad luck to see a black cat? A: When you're a mouse. Q: Why did the black cat cross the road? A: To catch up with the chicken. Q: Why do cemeteries have fences around them? A: Because people are dying to get in. Q: Why does a witch ride on a broom? A: Vacuum cleaners have to be plugged into the wall. Q: What happens to a fast witch on a slow broom? A: She flies off the handle. Q: Why do witches think they're funny? A: Every time they look in the mirror, it cracks up. Q: What does a sorceress wear? A: A bewitching outfit. Q: What did the bat say to the witch's hat? A: You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while. Q: Why did the witch stand up in front of the audience? A: She had to give a screech. Q: What happens when a flying witch breaks the sound barrier? A: You hear the broom boom. Q: Who has a broom and flies? A: A jelly-covered janitor. Q: What instrument does a skeleton play? A: A trombone. |
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