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  October 16, 1999

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Going batty

Sting strikes out with wrestling fans

BY BRET 'The Hitman' HART
  What's the deal with Hulk Hogan? I wish I could tell you what caused his sour mood during his interview on Nitro. Never before has anyone ever seen Hulk Hogan on TV with an attitude like that.
 Maybe it was deserved. Like I said, I don't know.
 It's even more mystifying when you'd think that Hogan would be happy about his upcoming shot at Sting for the World Heavyweight Title at Halloween Havoc next Sunday.
 Come to think of it, Sting doesn't look happy these days either. I don't think he's all that crazy about teaming up with Luger as a bad guy, otherwise why does he still come out and howl at the fans, seeking an approving response? When they boo, he takes out his disappointment by beating people up with a bat. It's pretty pathetic when the most talented wrestler in WCW is reduced to being a bat boy.
 Don't forget, when I first got to WCW, Sting was the guy I had a secret pact with. He shared his innermost thoughts with me about how he didn't like the cheapshots in wrestling and how he wanted to join forces with me to see what we could do about putting a stop to it. I remember the sincerity he had in his voice not long ago, and I ask myself how Sting could have changed so much in so short a time. The answer I keep coming back to is Lex Luger.
 Oh, excuse me, Liz sent out a memo directing us all to refer to Luger only as The Total Package from now on -- the artist formerly known as Lex Luger. In that case, I submit that considering Lizzie's recent anti-Canadian comments on Nitro, that she should no longer be addressed with the too polite MISS proceeding her name. What the heck did I ever do to her that she condones Flexy Lexy busting me in the mouth with a bat?
 Luger and Sting were best buddies for years, travelling together, trading war stories -- and that closeness is what gave Luger the edge to mess with Sting's mind. You keep your friends close and your enemies closer, but a close friend who turns on you is the worst enemy you can have.
 Sting is battier now than when he was hanging from the rafters.
 (Note: Momentary tangent to approach this from a different point of view. Thank God Steve Borden (Sting) has come to his senses enough that he no longer descends from the ceiling dangling from a wire!) Now ... where was I? ... oh yah, I was saying that Sting has gone batty and it's Luger's fault for being under the influence of Lizzie Borden.
 The more I think about it, the more I want to even the score with Luger. I'd been looking forward to special dinner plans and instead I ended up taking a few stitches in my mouth on account of him. Then it made it tough for me to tape a music video with The Rascalz the next day. By the way, it's on MuchMusic if you want to check it out.
 So, how did The Hitman end up in a hip-hop video? Well, it turns out that The Rascalz are big wrestling fans and my son, Dallas, is a big Rascalz fan and one thing led to another. It amazes me sometimes what I find myself involved in and the people I get to meet.
 Like the other day, I was honored to meet an illustrious sage from India, Swami Vignanananda. It turns out the Swami is a big Hitman fan -- I kid you not.
 He referred to me only as 'Hart'. Not Bret. Not Hitman. Just a punctuated `Hart' that stood out even more so against the backdrop of his great, distinguished accent. He suggested to me that I could release all my anger and stress through meditation, as he'd taught Japanese wrestlers to do.
 It's an interesting idea, but it would make things too easy on my opponents!
 Swami Vignanananda knows thousands of yoga positions and I just had the feeling that he'd love to try the sharpshooter -- but I thought it best that be left to be immortalized in a cartoon.
 This one's for you, Swami, I hope you like it.

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