CANOE Network SLAM!Sports

SLAM! Sports SLAM! Wrestling
  Oct 14, 1999

News & Rumours
Canadian Hall of Fame
WrestleMania 31
WrestleMania 31 photos
Movie Database
Minority Mat Report
Results Archive
PPV Reviews
SLAM! Wrestling store
On Facebook
On Twitter
Send Feedback

Photo Galleries

SHIMMER taping (now both days!)

Cauliflower Alley Club reunion

Smackdown in Fresno

Raw in San Jose

WrestleMania 31: Main Events

WrestleMania 31: First Half Matches

WWE Hall of Fame


READER ALERT: For all the latest wrestling happenings, check out our News & Rumours section.

SLAM! Wrestling Editorial: Back in black
By JOHN POWELL -- SLAM! Wrestling

THE ROCK Can you smell what The Grump is cooking?
 On maternity leave for a month to take care of my beautiful baby son Justin - he's not only the coolest, he's not only the best, he's Justin Powell! - and my wife, Julie too, gave me some time to take in the world of professional wrestling without having to analyze, criticize or summarize.

No news to collect. No interviews to prepare for. No reports to write. Ah, it was nice to be a casual fan again.

In our business, there are two types of writers. Those who write because it's their job and those who write because it is as natural to them as breathing or eating. As you can guess, four weeks of NOT being able to express myself through the written word was like having my vocal cords ripped out by Terry Funk, the man who must now hold the record for consecutive retirements.

My keyboard sat collecting dust for thirty days. I've bitten my tongue for a total of 720 hours. I've known my role and shut my mouth for 43200 minutes.

Baby, it's time to let it all out and what better way to release some of that pent up energy then by giving a few knuckle-heads a wake-up call.

Jeff Jarrett. What happened to that easy going Garth Brooks wannabe with the Lite Brite sunglasses? Desperate times call for desperate measures, one assumes. Though it's no excuse for Jarrett to behave like a jerk. I admire Jarrett as one of the greatest technical wrestlers to ever lace up the boots. He is damn good at what he does. I also share his frustration at not being respected for his ability but physically abusing women to draw heat from the crowd? What's up with that? I thought those musty angles went the way of "Iran numba one!" and "Whatcha' gonna do when...".

In the business what Jarrett's doing is called drawing "cheap heat". Ripping up a little kid's sign at ringside. Knocking an old lady over. Hurting an adorable animal. Beating up a woman. They are unimaginative stunts guaranteed to provoke a negative reaction from the crowd. Jarrett should be embarrassed he's sunk so low and the WWF should be ashamed of themselves for permitting the angle in the first place.

I'd rather retire from the business than lose my dignity like that.

Talking about losing your dignity...

Jake "The Snake" Roberts. Great job on the Heroes Of Wrestling pay-per-view, Jake! I'm sure the phone is ringing off the hook now after you staggered through a match with poor Jim Niedhart, slurred through an interview that surpassed any given by Ahmed Johnson and made obscene motions with Damien in front of young children. How nice. Thankfully only two wrestling fans in Kitchener ordered that pay-per-view so get some help before you really do something stupid. If not for your sake than do it for those who care about you.

Sting. Stinger. Stingster. Sting-a-reno. You are the hardest working team player around. However, let's set something straight. Heels are the bad guys. Faces are the good guys. Heels are evil. They don't get all friendly with the crowd, smile or let out Stinger yells to acknowledge them. In fact, heels go out of their way to annoy fans. Turning Sting bad was the worst business decision any promotion made this year besides the WWF thinking it was perfectly okay to introduce incest and the battering of women as storylines.

The mainstream media. In their infinite wisdom they connected the imaginary dots between Droz's unfortunate accident and the death of Owen Hart. Pa-leeze. About once a week a hockey player gets carted off the ice on a stretcher. I don't see anyone demanding a crack down in hockey violence. Drivers crash and die in auto racing from time to time, be it NASCAR (God rest your soul, Davey Allison), Formula One or motorcycle racing. Again, I don't see movements forming to close down that sport either.

So what's the deal? Wrestling has returned to the public spotlight therefore everything that happens gets more attention than it deserves by uneducated gasbags who couldn't tell the difference between a turnbuckle and a belt buckle. They don't have a clue so their opinion is truly meaningless, as you have no doubt discovered. In wrestling's history about as many people have died in the ring as have professional boxers in their squared circle. That's the truth. That's the reality. But why should they let the facts get in the way of a good story or another self-serving dig at pro-wrestling, eh?

The Rock. Is this guy a heel or a face? Someone please explain this to me. He treats the well-meaning, thoughtful Mankind like scum. He lays the verbal smackdown on an elderly female security guard. He harasses innocent bystanders backstage. What a cranky, arrogant guy! Maybe Johnson should change his name from The Rock to...The Grump! What he needs to do is go down to the local drug store, buy the biggest can of happy pills he can find, turn them sideways and shove them know the rest.

Reader's Note

: Thanks to all the readers who sent along their best wishes concerning the birth of my son Justin and also wrote in asking about my apparent absence. It's nice to know I was missed. Suffice it to say that my being back also signals the return of our comprehensive pay-per-view coverage which begins again this weekend with my coverage of No Mercy. Thanks to everyone who kept this crazy ship afloat while I was away.

Past editorials

Know someone who might be interested in this page? Just type in their e-mail address to send them the URL.

Destination email address:

Your email address: