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  Wed, Feb 6, 2002

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Here today, gone tomorrow

By JARETT CHAROWSKY -- for SLAM! Wrestling

Who was that wrestler I saw you with last night? If you've been watching the WWF for the past little while, that's not really a hard question to answer is it?

Probably not.

However, if you're new to the whole scene, the names like Crash Holly, Bull Buchanan, D'Lo Brown, Jerry Lynn or Mike Awesome may not mean much to you. (Alright, alright, those names mean something to all of you, but that's not my point). These men are all either injured, being re-worked or lost in the shuffle. People heal, or they'll find a niche and the WWF will split their roster (right?).

We are in a day and age where there are more quickly recognizable names than faces .. or costumes anyway. Most of us can take a look at a glossy photo of any of the WWF regulars and know who they are in an instant. So far, so good. My main problem was when the Alliance all got together in the ring. I suppose it was for unity at the time, and it makes sense, but almost to a tee they all wore black shirts, wore pants and they all looked the same. I'd watch the camera pan over the huddled mass in the ring and have to second guess myself on who some of these people were.

Tazz always had a bit of color, but I think he was supposed to stick out of the crowd anyway. The Dudley's, long since dropping their blue for gray, still had a look of their own. Austin stuck out because he would wear jeans (the blue was dazzling), he's bald and he said 'what?' a lot. Plus, he happens to be Steve Austin, a fact you can't really hide even if you wanted to. Everyone else though I didn't find too much different.

What happened to Lance Storm's red and white pants ? Where's Kidman's white tank top and cut off jeans? (Ok, so it's hard to sell 'wife beater' shirts to the crowd, but most shirts that get sold at shows aren't worn by the wrestlers anyway) Mike Awesome didn't sparkle and Hugh Morrus blended right in? Wow Sum suck the color and life right out of them. I was glad when they had Angle for a week or so.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this? Maybe I'm the only one who would like to see something a little different? I'm not suggesting that we go nuts and spray-paint everyone different neon colors. Plus there are people like Kane, Jericho (not only his shirts, but he has color in his ponytail too!) and RVD. Even the vest and the little bit of blue on it helps out DDP Sum. and that's a good thing. Then we have people who don't need anything to stick out of a crowd like the Undertaker, Big Show and Rikishi.

Having said all of that, I wonder if the WWF has been thinking along the same lines as I have? The WWF has heralded in the new regimes of Goldust, Mr. Perfect and Chuck & Billy. Well, 'new' in relative terms anyway.

Goldust, love him or hate him. That man will ALWAYS stick out in a crowd. I might not have the patience to sit in a chair and have that makeup applied to me a few days a week, but I'm glad someone has. He also has the added advantage of working that gimmick like no one else.

Not many people this side of Doink will surpass Goldust, but in this day and age you don't need to. Mr.Perfect is -ahem- perfect just wearing the traditional wrestling body suit. Chuck & Billy has us all seeing red? Well, it's about half look and half character right now, but I can guarantee that you will remember them a lot longer and talk about them more than you ever would have Palumbo and O'Haire while in the WWF. Just think about it for a minute.

You don't need to give people new gimmicks. You don't need to rename anyone. You don't even have to do everybody, just a small handful of people would help. A shirt, a third jersey or a pair of mismatched socks even. How about a pair of trunks? When Val Venis made his return at the rumble, I was personally hoping to see him back in the old trunks that had more purple than black on them. Sounds stupid I know, but I just think he looked better that way.

Don't even ask me about the Godfather.

Oh well, enough ranting for now. I'm done. The Alliance is dead, long live the nWo!


Jarett Charowsky is from Winnipeg, Manitoba and can be emailed at He has written for SLAM! Wrestling in the past:

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