SLAM! WRESTLING: Guest Columnist

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SLAM! Wrestling

November 9, 1999

WWF has a firm chokehold on bad taste

By SCOTT HASKINS -- Edmonton Sun
 So Mike Jenkinson thinks he's The Sun's professional wrestling expert. I think he's been dropped on his head once too often.

 I like Mike, I really do, but I'm not about to sit idly by while he seemingly goes out of his way to prove I'm not the only one who specializes in putting the mouth in gear before ensuring the brain is engaged.

 How any rational adult could possibly view the World Wrestling Federation as anything but disgusting is totally beyond me. Worse than that, it's dangerous, too.

 And no, I'm not talking about the death of Owen Hart. Like my grampa used to say: If you play with the bull you get the horn. I'm not saying he deserved his fate, but he had to at least understand that the possibility of great bodily harm existed.

 That's more than I can say about the kids who watch this junk, then try out the latest Drop of Doom on their two-year-old brother. Don't say it doesn't happen because it does - children are the world's greatest mimics.

 It's not so much that I think the WWF is stupid. What bothers me is that the WWF thinks I'm stupid. Trying to pass itself off as adult entertainment is the second most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, right behind the WWF saying its marketing isn't aimed at impressionable children.

 You still playing with dolls, Mike?

 Ask a seven-year-old boy what he thinks. He thinks it's real. Everything from the Undertaker's blood to Chyna's chest.

 The WWF is worse than South Park, which is a TV cartoon. Even a two-year-old knows it's not real.

 Wrestling has been around forever. Grampa used to listen to it all the time on the radio. But, like a lot of things, it has gotten progressively worse. It wasn't always on TV eight hours a day.

 "Feminists lose their heads over a doll" was the headline on Mike's Page 11 column yesterday. Hey, who's he calling a feminist?

 The doll in question is WWF character Al Snow, complete with a tiny severed female head in one hand. He's holding it by the hair. Lovely. To hear Mike tell it, the world is a worse place because the doll has been pulled from store shelves. I consider it good riddance to bad rubbish.

 Mike says the action figure is not promoting the "brutalization of women." Yes it is. The WWF promotes the brutalization of everything, especially common sense.

 The kids eat it up and their parents wonder why little Johnny grabs his crotch when he's told to eat his vegetables.

 I hate to agree with another publication, but you'd have to be more Looney Tunes than Foghorn Leghorn not to. The Al Snow doll is a horrifying toy.

 As Foghorn would say: "Boy! I said, boy! What's wrong with you, boy? Christmas is coming, but there ain't no sanity clause. The world needs toys like this like it needs another plane crash."
Scott Haskins, a columnist for the Edmonton Sun, can be reached by e-mail at

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