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  April 4, 2000

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Raw - April 4, 2000

Dan Titus's Monday Night Raw Report

Yes ladies and gentlemen,tis I.Here to bring you the Raw recap all the way from Nanaimo, British Columbia. Tonight's show was as flat as week old beer, but I trudge through, still the Slam! superstar.

Shane McMahon starts us off, and publically apologizes to Papa Vince, and challenges The Rock to a match. HHH and Stephanie arrive on the scene, and HHH states that he will avenge the Rock Bottom/People's elbow Stephanie took to climax Wrestlemania, and issues a challenge of his own. Boy, is Rock popular. Now it's Vinces turn to put his stamp on things, and yeah he challenges Rock as well. He also tells people it's his job to shatter peoples dreams (In Canada,the educational system does a great job of that). The interview ends and it's not clear who Rock'll be facing.

After the break, it's time for European champ Chris Jericho (with Chyna) vs. Eddy Guerrero. Before the match, Eddy goes off about how Chyna is after some latin heat, and proceeds to say something in spanish. During the match,the ref goes down, and Jericho splatters. Eddy with a moonsault. Chyna comes in and makes the count. The raven haired stunner then hits Y2J with a DDT, and Eddy becomes the third radical to take gold. Amazing how people said those four guys would never excel in the WWF.

Another break, and Vince and Stephanie are having one of those heart to heart talks. Vince agrees to think about letting HHH handle the Rock situation.

Road Dog and X Pac defeat T&A after Tori interferes. Vince is backstage telling Shane "I got everything covered".

During Tazz's ring entrance to wrestle Chris Benoit, TSN cut to the company graphic, can somebody tell me what was edited out? Anyway, Tazz has things under control when Perry Saturn interferes. Tazz powerslams Saturn off the top rope, but Benoit wraps him with a belly to back suplex for the win.

Big Show is in the back, telling Shane how much he's come to love Hollywood.

After the break, Edge and Christian come to cut a promo. Why does Edge always sound like he's being dubbed? Maybe he supplements his income by doing voiceovers for Godzilla movies. These two have taken the old gimmick of patting each other on the back for everything. The blonde duo then call out the Hardys. The Hardy's climb up on the apron but are knocked down by Edge and Christian after they get distracted by the Dudleys. The Dudleys hit Edge with the 3D, and then brawl with The Hardys to the dressing room.

Before the break, Eddy and Chyna take off in an orange Cadillac. You have her home by 11, okay Eddy?

Another break, and Big Show tangles with Rakishi. The match is short as Rikishi is disqualified after Too Cool interferes...strange, Rikishi wasn't in a lot of trouble. Oh, I almost forgot, Big Show attempted to do the "Worm" and then he missed while attempting Scotty Too Hotty's elbow. Funny stuff.

In the back, Shane, Vince, and HHH are drawing straws to decide who'll face the Rock (I heard that's how they determine who gets to be Prime Minister of Canada). Shane draws the short straw.

When the show comes back, Big Show is on the mic. He says there's more to him than headbutts and chokeslams. He's actually quite a funny guy. He proves his point by dancing to Rikishi's music. I know this isn't nice, but he boogies with all the rythym of an elephant with a thumbtack stuck in his paw.

Rock has no comment on that, but points out several of Vince's past "achievements". National expansion in 1983, Wrestlemania in 1985, the great penis enlargement in 1991, well, the Rock says all those achievements now mean...nothing. Rock says he doesn't care who he has to face. By the way, what's Rocks obsession with penis jokes?

We now overhear Too Cool making fun of the Big Show's dancing.

Oh goodie. The Hardcore comic-relief-title is to be defended. Crash Holly defeats Hardcore Holly after the Acolytes intervene. Crash is then jumped by the Mean Street Posse, but escapes.

Big Show is then shown asking Grandmaster Sexay his opinion on his dancing earlier. Show displays a poor tolerance for constructive criticism, and puts Sexay through a table.

Next match, Kurt Angle tells the fans how being robbed of the I.C. and European titles is bad for the U.S. economy. Angle then insults Val Venis by trying to put on rubber gloves before their match. Kurt wins with a Chicken Wing.

For some reason, the WWF figured Bull Buchanan versus Kane would be what we wanted to see the night after Wrestlemania. Not much here. Kane wins with a Tombstone. The cop duo then pounds Kane's wrist with a chair.

Main Event time.

This is it? An unopposed show, the night after the biggest PPV of the year gives us...Shane McMahon versus The Rock? Well, this was a match that really fell flat. HHH interferes, and Rock pins him after a Rock Bottom, while Vince curses the show off the air.

Full coverage of WrestleMania 2000

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